HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!
DIY Mother’s Day Youtube video https://tinyurl.com/y9j8dwg2
Posted by Linda
Mother’s Day is only two days away and as usual, asking for the kind of day that I want is a little difficult for me. It goes back to my old habit of thinking about others before myself and assuming that what I choose will displease them. Not that thinking about others is a bad thing to do. There is a lot to appreciate about being an empathetic person. However, when I most always put someone’s wishes before my own, I have to wonder why. There are many possible reasons such as not valuing myself, thinking that women should always put their children’s and husbands wishes before their own, and yes feeling guilty when I do.
That is the one that gets in my way a lot, guilt. So what do I do. I can fall back into old habits and let guilt about asking or thinking about myself stop me, or I can make a choice to act differently. Choosing requires that I step outside of myself and get to know who I am a little more. Once I isolate a specific situation, such as making plans for Mother’s Day and understand that yes, it is guilt that is the obstacle to choice making, I can then write down in the clearest manner possible as to why I am letting guilt control me. Such questions as it is reasonable, is it logical? Do I feel bad about who I am as a person? Why do I assume that making a choice for myself rather than others for Mother’s Day will be such a problem for my family. Maybe, just maybe they will be happy to do what I asked and find pleasure in knowing that they have pleased someone they love.
Happy Mother’s Day
Posted by Linda
Moms, what do you want for Mother’s Day. It’s only one week away and if there is something that you really desire and you know that you will be utterly disappointed if it doesn’t happen, then what can you do to increase your chances of having the kind of day that pleases you? Well, there are a couple of choices. You can say nothing because you know your family and they have a high percentage of figuring out what would make you happy…Or you can say nothing and then when your expectations are high and nothing even close to what you had in mind happens. Well, Need I say more. What has taken me a long time to learn, and even now, I don’t come close to being perfect, is asking for what I want. People are not mind readers, even those nearest and dearest to us. Communicating our needs and wants is actually very helpful because it eliminates the guessing game and stress of not exactly knowing how to please someone you love. Talking is the way. Respectfully requesting can become a custom in your family, followed by negotiation if the request is impossible to fulfill.
I heard a story about a father asking his daughter what kind of pizza she wanted when she came to visit him. She would always answer whatever you want. One year, the daughter told her father that she wanted pepperoni and he said to her, “Oh thank goodness you finally told me. I would always be so stressed when it came time to make a decision. Thank you, now I know”.
This year, it might be good to take the stress off your family and yourself by communicating. Happy Mother’s Day!