Posted by Linda
Mother’s Day is only two days away and as usual, asking for the kind of day that I want is a little difficult for me. It goes back to my old habit of thinking about others before myself and assuming that what I choose will displease them. Not that thinking about others is a bad thing to do. There is a lot to appreciate about being an empathetic person. However, when I most always put someone’s wishes before my own, I have to wonder why. There are many possible reasons such as not valuing myself, thinking that women should always put their children’s and husbands wishes before their own, and yes feeling guilty when I do.
That is the one that gets in my way a lot, guilt. So what do I do. I can fall back into old habits and let guilt about asking or thinking about myself stop me, or I can make a choice to act differently. Choosing requires that I step outside of myself and get to know who I am a little more. Once I isolate a specific situation, such as making plans for Mother’s Day and understand that yes, it is guilt that is the obstacle to choice making, I can then write down in the clearest manner possible as to why I am letting guilt control me. Such questions as it is reasonable, is it logical? Do I feel bad about who I am as a person? Why do I assume that making a choice for myself rather than others for Mother’s Day will be such a problem for my family. Maybe, just maybe they will be happy to do what I asked and find pleasure in knowing that they have pleased someone they love.
Happy Mother’s Day